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WELCOME to
the
Georgia
$peedingTICKETKILLER
Observations on
political, economic, social and military scenarios that appear
unwinnable.
By: Kenneth
Waters
10/6/2006
the
Kobayashi Maru speeding ticket
defense
For you Star
Trek fans from Part 2 “The Wrath of Khan”, you may recall a certain
scene deep underground on the Genesis planet, where Captain Kirk and
others were sitting around lamenting their plight that seemed
hopeless. Kind of the same thoughts one has while sitting around
waiting their turn in a
Georgia
kangaroo traffic kourt. Dr. McCoy brought up the subject of how
Captain Kirk was the only Cadet at Star Fleet academy to ever win
against the “Kobayashi
Maru”
the un-winnable
scenario. Kirk was asked how he did it. Kirk replied that he snuck
in one night and reprogrammed the computer.
His son said,
“You cheated?” No Kirk replied, “I changed the conditions of the
test so that it became winnable.”
The Kobayashi
Maru scenario is an infamous no-win scenario that is part of the
curriculum for cadets at
Starfleet
Academy. It is primarily used to assess a cadet's discipline,
character, and command capabilities in facing an impossible
situation, kinda like traffic kourt.
In the Kobayashi
Maru scenario, a cadet is placed in command of a starship on patrol
near the neutral zone. The starship receives a distress signal from
the
Kobayashi Maru, a
civilian freighter in the fictional Star Trek universe that has been
disabled in the neutral zone after striking a gravitic mine in the
Organian Neutral Zone. It is crippled, its condition swiftly
worsening. There are no nearby rescue vessels save for the cadet's
own ship. If the cadet chooses to enter the neutral zone in
violation of treaties, the starship is confronted by three Klingon
K't'inga-class battle cruisers.
In the Kobayashi
Maru scenario of the 2280s, the cadet is then faced with the dilemma
of:
-
Attempting a
rescue of the Maru's passengers, which would involve violating the
Neutral Zone, potentially provoking the Klingons into hostile
action and, ultimately, a declaration of all-out war - or
-
Abandoning the
Maru and thus preventing war, but leaving its occupants to die.
The test is
considered a no-win scenario because it is impossible for the cadet
to simultaneously save the Kobayashi Maru, avoid a fight with the
Klingons, and escape the neutral zone with the starship intact. Kind
of like being found NOT guilty in a
Georgia kangaroo
traffic kourt.
Regardless of
the option taken, cloaked Klingon warships attack and destroy the
would-be rescue vessel.
The purpose of
the scenario is to evaluate the cadet's behavior and thought
processes in a no-win situation. As a consequence, the term
Kobayashi Maru problem has entered common parlance to describe a
test designed solely to determine some usually non-tangible human
thought process.
In the 2280s,
James T. Kirk became the first (and to this date only) cadet to ever
beat the no-win scenario. After taking the test (and failing) twice,
Kirk took the test a third time after surreptitiously reprogramming
the simulation computer to recognize his name and have the Klingons
react with fearful admiration, thus making it possible to win the
no-win scenario. Kirk got a commendation for "original thinking",
and later commented wistfully that his stunt "had the virtue of
never having been tried."
He justified it
by arguing that a no-win situation was cheating, and so he had to
cheat in return. Kirk would later defend his "cheating" by arguing
that he did not believe in the no-win scenario.
Does the
Kobayashi Maru, the no win scenario remind one of a
Georgia
kangaroo traffic kourt? Can the
Georgia traffic
kourts themselves be reprogrammed to change the conditions of the
test? Can some one actually “Cheat to
Win” in a
Georgia
kangaroo traffic kourt?
The
Kobayashi Maru
defense scheme is NOT included on
the mass produced version of the
Georgia
$peeding
TICKET KILLER CD’s. This is due to its highly notorious and
controversial content.
The
Kobayashi Maru
defense
teaches you ways to
“cheat”
the system and win BEFORE actually appearing in a
Georgia
kangaroo traffic kourt. We show you ways never before published in
books, or on the internet to change the conditions of the test. Ways
as Captain Kirk would say, have until now never had the virtue of
being tried.
The Kobayashi
Maru defense strategy is available absolutely
FREE
to all purchasers of the
Georgia
$peeding TICKETKILLER
system who have previously registered their CD, by simply requesting
it via email.
Upon receiving
your request, you will be emailed a waiver that you will be required
to sign stating you understand that the Kobayshi Maru is satire, is
meant for entertainment purposes only, and the methods described
should never actually be tried.
After which we will promptly email you the
Kobayashi Maru
defense strategy directly to your in-box.
Purpose? To get
one to think! Hmmmmm?
Copyright ©2004-2008, the
Georgia $peedingTICKETKILLER
All Rights Reserved

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