the Kobayashi Maru speeding ticket defense

For you Star Trek fans from Part 2 “The Wrath of Khan”, you may recall a certain scene deep underground on the Genesis planet, where Captain Kirk and others were sitting around lamenting their plight that seemed hopeless. Kind of the same thoughts one has while sitting around waiting their turn in a Georgia kangaroo traffic kourt. Dr. McCoy brought up the subject of how Captain Kirk was the only Cadet at Star Fleet academy to ever win against the “Kobayashi Maru” the un-winnable scenario. Kirk was asked how he did it. Kirk replied that he snuck in one night and reprogrammed the computer.

His son said, “You cheated?” No Kirk replied, “I changed the conditions of the test so that it became winnable.”

The Kobayashi Maru scenario is an infamous no-win scenario that is part of the curriculum for cadets at Starfleet Academy. It is primarily used to assess a cadet's discipline, character, and command capabilities in facing an impossible situation, kinda like traffic kourt.

In the Kobayashi Maru scenario, a cadet is placed in command of a starship on patrol near the neutral zone. The starship receives a distress signal from the Kobayashi Maru, a civilian freighter in the fictional Star Trek universe that has been disabled in the neutral zone after striking a gravitic mine in the Organian Neutral Zone. It is crippled, its condition swiftly worsening. There are no nearby rescue vessels save for the cadet's own ship. If the cadet chooses to enter the neutral zone in violation of treaties, the starship is confronted by three Klingon K't'inga-class battle cruisers.

In the Kobayashi Maru scenario of the 2280s, the cadet is then faced with the dilemma of:

Attempting a rescue of the Maru's passengers, which would involve violating the Neutral Zone, potentially provoking the Klingons into hostile action and, ultimately, a declaration of all-out war - or
Abandoning the Maru and thus preventing war, but leaving its occupants to die.

The test is considered a no-win scenario because it is impossible for the cadet to simultaneously save the Kobayashi Maru, avoid a fight with the Klingons, and escape the neutral zone with the starship intact. Kind of like being found NOT guilty in a Georgia kangaroo traffic kourt.

Regardless of the option taken, cloaked Klingon warships attack and destroy the would-be rescue vessel.

The purpose of the scenario is to evaluate the cadet's behavior and thought processes in a no-win situation. As a consequence, the term Kobayashi Maru problem has entered common parlance to describe a test designed solely to determine some usually non-tangible human thought process.

In the 2280s, James T. Kirk became the first (and to this date only) cadet to ever beat the no-win scenario. After taking the test (and failing) twice, Kirk took the test a third time after surreptitiously reprogramming the simulation computer to recognize his name and have the Klingons react with fearful admiration, thus making it possible to win the no-win scenario. Kirk got a commendation for "original thinking", and later commented wistfully that his stunt "had the virtue of never having been tried."

He justified it by arguing that a no-win situation was cheating, and so he had to cheat in return. Kirk would later defend his "cheating" by arguing that he did not believe in the no-win scenario.

Does the Kobayashi Maru, the no win scenario remind one of a Georgia kangaroo traffic kourt? Can the Georgia traffic kourts themselves be reprogrammed to change the conditions of the test? Can some one actually “Cheat to Win” in a Georgia kangaroo traffic kourt?

The Kobayashi Maru defense scheme is NOT included on the mass produced version of the Georgia $peeding TICKET KILLER CD’s. This is due to its highly notorious and controversial content.

The Kobayashi Maru defense teaches you ways to “cheat” the system and win BEFORE actually appearing in a Georgia kangaroo traffic kourt. We show you ways never before published in books, or on the internet to change the conditions of the test. Ways as Captain Kirk would say, have until now never had the virtue of being tried.

The Kobayashi Maru defense strategy is available absolutely FREE to all purchasers of the Georgia $peeding TICKETKILLER system who have previously registered their CD, by simply requesting it via email.

Upon receiving your request, you will be emailed a waiver that you will be required to sign stating you understand that the Kobayshi Maru is satire, is meant for entertainment purposes only, and the methods described should never actually be tried. After which we will promptly email you the Kobayashi Maru defense strategy directly to your in-box.

Purpose? To get one to think! Hmmmmm?

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